Free PDF Beat the Band, by Don Calame
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Beat the Band, by Don Calame
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Get ready for riffs on hot girls, health class, and social hell! The outrageously funny boys from Swim the Fly return to rock their sophomore year. In this hilarious sequel to Swim the Fly, told from Coop’s point of view, it’s the beginning of the school year, and the tenth-grade health class must work in pairs on semester-long projects. Matt and Sean get partnered up (the jerks), but Coop is matched with the infamous “Hot Dog” Helen for a presentation on safe sex. Everybody’s laughing, except for Coop, who’s convinced that the only way to escape this social death sentence is to win “The Battle of the Bands” with their group, Arnold Murphy’s Bologna Dare. There’s just one problem: none of the guys actually plays an instrument. Will Coop regain his “cool” before it’s too late? Or will the forced one-on-one time with Helen teach him a lesson about social status he never saw coming? With ribald humor and a few sweet notes, screenwriter-turned-novelist Don Calame once again hits all the right chords.
- Sales Rank: #720037 in eBooks
- Published on: 2010-10-08
- Released on: 2010-10-08
- Format: Kindle eBook
From School Library Journal
Gr 8-11–In this very funny sequel to Swim the Fly (Candlewick, 2009), Coop takes over narration duties as he and his best friends, Matt and Sean, return for their sophomore year. Right off the bat they are assigned partners for a semester-long health-class project. To his horror, Coop is paired with “Hot Dog” Helen, the school outcast, and assigned to research contraceptives. Immediately dubbed “Corn Dog Coop,” he is desperate for a way to salvage his social status. An upcoming Battle of the Bands presents the perfect opportunity for him to reveal his inner rock god and make a good impression on all the hottest girls. He recruits his friends into “Arnold Murphy's Bologna Dare,” and they divide their time between rehearsals and hilariously misguided attempts to perfect their look. Meanwhile, the most popular girls in school enlist Coop to help them sabotage Helen, and he can't find a way to extricate himself from their plot to humiliate her. When she joins his band as the much-needed lead singer, grudging respect turns to infatuation even as his guilt grows. The inevitable revelation and its aftermath are both gut-wrenching and touching. Subplots about the band's cribbed demo tape and Coop's father's efforts to manage the group add depth to the story. Creative sexual slang and bathroom humor begin on page one, but Coop is mostly just talk. Messages about bullying and consequences of teen sex (included via the health project) add just the right note of gravitas to this rockin' romp.–Amy Pickett, Ridley High School, Folsom, PA. (c) Copyright 2010. Library Journals LLC, a wholly owned subsidiary of Media Source, Inc. No redistribution permitted.
From Booklist
It’s not all that often the wisecracking buddy gets to be narrator, but that’s what happens in Calame’s endearing follow-up to Swim the Fly (2009). Fifteen-year-old Cooper’s nightmare—being paired with class pariah “Hot Dog Helen” for a semester-long project—has one solution: get respect by winning the school’s Battle of the Bands. Each chapter is titled after a thematically appropriate song (guess what “Smells like Teen Spirit” is about), and the band’s attempts to transform themselves into swaggering, spray-tanned rock gods is rife with laugh-out-loud blunders. As the slang-happy Coop might say, this is one part brill and one part ridic. Grades 9-12. --Daniel Kraus
Review
"I couldn't stop laughing at this book. Cooper may be the most unlikely (and yet thoroughly likeable) hero you'll ever find yourself rooting for." — Meg Cabot
From the Trade Paperback edition.
Most helpful customer reviews
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Very humorous and fun read
By R. Gasper
Love all the books in this series. Calame has crafted great and believable characters. Very laugh-out-loud humor. And the audio version is amazing. I highly recommend this author.
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful.
Delivers a Funny Beat
By Bri
The boys from Swim the Fly by Don Calame are back! Beat the Band isn't exactly a sequel to Swim the Fly, but it does have the same characters. Once I heard about Calame's second book I had to have it. While the first book by Calame was narrated by Matt, Beat the Band has Coop's tale to tell. It isn't essential to read Swim the Fly, but after reading Beat the Band, you'll want to. Both books are hilarious.
It's tenth grade and the boys are upping the ante on their juvenile bets. For the summer, it was to see a real live naked girl. This school year? Cooper's aiming to tag the bases. Coop wants to hook up with model-looking Prudence Nash on the 10th grade health class project...but he's paired with the infamous "Hot Dog" Helen Harriwick. In the eyes of the teens at Lower Rockville High, this is social suicide. So he does what every teen in the depths of loserdom does to reclaim a bit of cool.. forms a band. If Matt, Cooper, and Sean's band, Arnold Murphy's Bologna Dare, wins the Battle of the Bands, they will rocket to cool in no time. Despite the fact none of them can play an instrument, they've never rehearsed, and they have no idea what they're doing. But then Coop spends more time with Helen and discovers what he was missing.
I praised Swim the Fly for its combination of humor with heart. It's good to see Beat the Band doesn't fail in this department. Once again, the characters are somewhat rude and juvenile, the humor might be crude, and the adults in the novel might as well as be teens themselves, but what Calame does so well is make it all work wonderfully. I enjoyed the character development in the first book, Beat the Band gives readers another taste of that. Once again, I have to compare it to Judd Apatow movies - high on crude, laughs, and heart.
Cooper is very juvenile and his POV provides the typical boy viewpoint towards girls and sex. It reminded me of a Buffy the Vampire Slayer quote actually.
Cordelia: Well, does looking at guns make you wanna have sex?
Xander: I'm 17. Looking at linoleum makes me wanna have sex.
But as Cooper gets to actually know Helen and Prudence, his viewpoint shifts to something less superficial and caveman like. He sees woman as more than sex objects - as much as you can expect a teen boy to change. A reader can find the humor in Cooper's utter clueless nature and rejoice when he finally gets some sense.
Don Calame takes the staples of high school comedy - Battle of the Bands, being partnered with a social outcast, teen boys' hormones -- and injects new life into them. The band antics are hysterical and terribly misguided. One of my favorite chapters was when the boys chose the outfits for their "look"...and ended up with three completely different looks, resulting in looking like surreal Village People castoffs. I won't reveal the rest of the funny situations in detail - golf shop antics, band practice and more but trust me, you'll laugh.
The situations may be crude and not for all, but these boys, despite their clueless nature, are oddly lovable and Beat the Band delivers beat after beat of the funny.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
I "Arnold Murphy Bologna Dare" you not to love it!
By Kindle Customer
"You won't be sorry; I promise... this is going to be epic!" -Cooper Redmond... Famous last words, yes? Maybe, but that all depends on how you look at it. Even when you lose, sometimes you win something much better.
Although in the same vein of funny as SWIM THE FLY with most of the same cast, BEAT THE BAND (Swim The Fly #2) is a completely different story. To be honest the fact that this second book is written from Cooper's pov had me going in a bit weary from the start. Coop's brazen and often overly juvenile personality, albeit hysterical at times, made him a much less likable character in comparison to Matt, who was just so darn endearing as he narrated his way through book one. But I have to say those concerns were completely a non issue. I'm not saying there weren't some blatantly foul displays of inappropriate male adolescents from Mr. Cooper, because there most definitely were, more than a few and they were laugh-out-loud funny. But we also find there is a lot more to Coop than fart jokes and double entendres in this second installment. Fortunately author Don Calame saw fit to introduce us to the many layers of Cooper Redmond; as he navigates his way through embarrassing Sex Ed Health Class assignments, the school pariah, an out of work dad, hawt mean girls, his first kiss, the battle of the bands and his conscious.
This is a definite equal opportunity series that teens and adults of both genders will relate to and enjoy. I'm a 32 year old mom of 2 boys and I loved both books. I highly recommend the audio versions, which have provided countless hours of entertainment and distraction for me on the evil treadmill. Narrator Nick Podehl expertly gives a voice and a very distinct individuality to each character. I really hope Calame plans to round out the group and put out a third book from Sean's pov.
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